The Egotistical Priest
An irreverent and opinionated discussion of the many classes
in the World of Warcraft gaming universe.
Holy Bowler
by Vonya
This isn’t a post. Seriously. Not a post. It’s an illuuuuuusion.
Besides, it’s about something silly, so it wouldn’t count for a post on a normal week, even.
My healy shaman is a male draenei (what can I say? I love me some space goat). During the course of leveling him, I discovered two very important facts about male draenei.
Fact 1) Male Drae keep their mounts inside enchanted peanut butter jars.
Seriously. Watch a male draenei mount. The first thing he does is whip out an invisible peanut butter jar and start unscrewing the lid. Once he’s got it open, he dramatically tosses the lid into the air, and his mount appears in a cloud of smoke.
It’s like watching an episode of Dragon Half.
Fact 2) Male drae are down to earth, good-time healers.
How do I know this? Ever watch a female drae cast a spell? It’s very flowy, very magical, very…very mystical. Well, granted, there’s that whole chest-thrusting thing that makes you think maybe she did some time giving lap dances to pay her way through priest school, but still.
What about the female nelves? Very mystical, with the graceful hand movements and that finishing stance.
Male drae? You won’t catch THEM being all graceful and flowy. Oh no. That wouldn’t be manly. Male drae like to drink beer and watch football and secretly listen to disco music while they’re traveling. The number of songs that the male drae run fits PERFECTLY his hilarious. Including the Wolves of the Sea (techno pirate) song from Eurovision this year.
Where was I? Oh, right. Beer and football.
But the male Drae realizes that he needs to heal. He performs a valuable function. That heal’s got to get to you somehow, he just doesn’t want to use girly dance movements to do it.
So he came up with the perfect solution. He can heal you and work on his weekend game at the same time.
He bowls the heal to you.
Seriously. Watch it sometime. He starts out channeling the holy (or nature) energies in his hand, then he goes into the perfect bowler’s stance and spins that ball of healing energy your way.
When I get a critical on my heals, I am often surprised not to hear the crash of bowling pins in a perfect strike.
June 10th, 2008
“When I get a critical on my heals, I am often surprised not to hear the crash of bowling pins in a perfect strike.”
Some one needs to make this addon!
June 10th, 2008
2 Things:
1.) Best Post of the Day.
2.) Isn’t it a bit early in the morning to be hitting the sauce?
June 10th, 2008
“…and secretly listen to disco music while they’re traveling.”
QFT! lol
5 star post Vonya
June 10th, 2008
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bAN7Ts0xBo
that link right there is one of the only reasons i like the male draeni.
im not much of an ally, love your blogs, but this is just too funny.
June 10th, 2008
You have to check out the post above its so awesome….
The dance the music so male draeni!!!
Go go go go go do it!!!
June 10th, 2008
Best Non-Post Ever!
Enjoy your time off in Tex-Ass!
June 10th, 2008
Well us Draenei do appreciate a good game of bowling. No sissies in that sport
June 10th, 2008
Oh and my invisible jar contains strawberry jam as I’m not found of peanut butter
June 10th, 2008
You promised and you delivered! That’s hilarious! I’m tempted to break my norm of rolling all females and try a draenei just to see that! Sadly, I have no space on my main server, so I’ll have to find somewhere else to test him.
June 10th, 2008
@Kwane
No way I’m the first person to catch the bowling. This addon is LONG overdue.
@Rattavong
Until they outlaw coffee, it’s never too early. *winks*
@Hildi
*grins* Five Star something, anyway. *winks*
@Sunrath
I’ve been such a fangirl about that song, ever since college. WAY before WoW. I was tickled purple that they brought the dance in for the male drae. Ah, memories. Now I need to find Lobster Sticks to Magnet again…
@Sonvar
…and now I need to watch Kingpin again…
@Cynra
*laughs* This is my first male toon, as well. And it’s totally worth it to roll one, just to see the animations - the peanut butter jar animation can also bee seen when crafting, so you don’t have to make it all the way to 40 to see that one. *grins*
June 12th, 2008
You can’t forget when a drae-guy uses a polearm or spear. Flip-THWACK.
Louisville Slugger style, baby.
June 12th, 2008
@Sunwrath and Vonya
If you like Tunak, you must go find Bunny Lava.
here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA1NoOOoaNw
(not wow related)
best video evAr.
June 13th, 2008
I’ve always been more of a David Bowie fan that disco, but I’ll agree with the rest.
June 13th, 2008
I laughed so hard when I read this post - so true!!! I still haven’t managed to see heal bowling, but I’ve played with my friend’s draenei hunter enough to see the peanutbutter (or strawberry jam) mount and the polearm baseball. ^_^
June 16th, 2008
@ Hildi
I watched the video, that was easily one of the weirdest and funniest things i’ve ever seen.
Who put the goat in there?
June 17th, 2008
Great post! My male draenei has been my main wowtoon since TBC came out, and his main spec has been healing since level 60. I’ve played all types of healing roles in instances, heroics, 10-mans, and 25-mans. He also has a kick-ass casting set for times when it’s ok to play nature mage… but even then he knows when to “bowl” a few heals, as all good hybrid healers can (or at least SHOULD, assuming they’ve read your post on Hybrid healing!).
The one odd thing about the healing animation is that he reverts from the “bowling pose” back to the normal “standing-still pose” TOO SOON when casting Chain Heal. He should retain the bowler’s stance until the heal has finished leaving his hand, imo!
June 18th, 2008
@Moon
To true! He’ll never make it to the big leagues at this rate!
September 29th, 2008
an illuuuuuusion eh?
October 12th, 2008
[...] term. So if you want to know who the Holy Bowler is (Draenei Paladin actually), you should really read this. Or not. It’s not like I care [...]