The Egotistical Priest
An irreverent and opinionated discussion of the many classes
in the World of Warcraft gaming universe.
“He taught me to do that lol”
by Hannelore
A lot has been said about how terrible it is to get a bunch of random people together with the intention of rampaging through a dungeon for fun and profit. So much so, that I’m going to avoid it. If you want to hear terribad moments of doom, there’s lots of other people that have their horror stories. Me? I make good pick-up-groups. Not often…but it happens. I’ll focus on those.
My people haven’t made it this far, through so much, by dwelling on how other people have ruined it for us!
So, hey, the whole ‘tank’ situation. Very poo. No one wants to be a meatshield. All the ones that used to be meatshields have decided it’s more fun to go rampaging off by themselves, or are employed by the big guilds. Either way, no meatshields. You can hear the barkers in the cities and all over, crying out for someone to come take the hits and lead the way. But who wants to do that?
I mean, look at what you’re really asking. You say “I just want someone to tank!” Yeah, well, you most certainly are not. Almost every time I’ve seen this come up, the poor sap has been conscripted into leading the group, too. So the rogue who was pushing and pushing, getting everyone together, and pulling the group into a cohesive unit suddenly hands over authority to this new person who was suckered in last. Not only are you now the focus of pain for every sharp object flying at us, Mister Warrior, you are the focus of ire and irritation whenever you don’t do what the group assumed you were going to do!
Yay!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten the stink eye myself. As a healer, I’m at the mercy of the group, so I have to pipe up now and again, trying to guide them or at least beg them not to get me killed. Except, unlike the tank, I have no real authority. The best I can do is stop casting heals…and that really doesn’t get me anywhere. “Hey you, dummy! Stop doing dumb things that have monsters coming after me! Fine, I’ll stop healing you! Haha, now you’re dead! …and monsters are coming after me!”
Talk about sadface. Man. Now I’m dead AND the badguy of the group.
So let me tell you about an adventure I had this past week in the Sunken Temple.
No one could find any tanks. A rogue and I had been grouped together for nearly an hour. She was stabbing things in felwood, I was … finally learning Triage (that quest is so bugged out hospital is so weird. On my third attempt, all of the injured orcs, trolls, and undead, appeared standing up. They stayed standing up. Even while complaining about this or that injury, they stood there, stoicly staring at the head doctor at the front of the room. That’s some tough soldiers!). I get a whisper from a hunter asking if we want to merge our groups. He hadn’t been there a second ago, so I check him out and it’s a trio from the same guild. The rogue and I part ways after I let her know the plan, and we join up with the guild-trio. And then I actually take note of who we just agreed to risk our lives for.
I have changed the names. Not because I feel like protecting anyone, but because I’ve forgotten what their names were. What, you thought I’d be nice about this?
We have Big Hunter, more seasoned than I, at 54.
We have The Shammy, about on par with me.
And we have Little Hunter, squeaking into the dungeon at 48.
The rogue was 52, I believe.
One, two, three, four…and I make five. I don’t want to spell it out for you as to why I was concerned, so we’ll just move on to my question I posed to the group.
“So who’s tanking?” I was, of course, eyeing the enhancement shaman.
“My pet,” says Big Hunter, patting his barrens cheetah.
I then eyed the scorpid belonging to Little Hunter, and I had a sense of forboding.
But! An hour in LFG is far, far too long to become picky after a group is formed, so off we went!
I confess, I was a bit chatty at first. It’s a learned habit from things like this. If I don’t pipe up early, then it looks like sour grapes when I mention it after the wipe. “Everyone knows that The Cat is tanking, right?” There was a chorus of halfhearted assurances as we steamrolled a couple of snakes. “So that’s where the majority of the heals are going to go, okay?” Again, this time quieter, came a murmer of assents. “It also means you have to watch out for AOE because the cat… hey guys?”
I was standing on a bannister, alone with a scorpid that was slowly poking a mummified troll to death.
“Guys…?” I may have squeaked. I’m not proud of it, but I’m trying to be honest, here.
I saw a flash, and then a rain of arrows came down and clattered in the central floor. The doorway to the dungeon had a line of atalsomething trolls charging away from it as though they’d just lost their prey and were gunning for second best.
Shield! Fade! Renew! Flee! I charged through them and dove through the door of the dungeon, safe, but battered.
Gradually, we reformed and got settled at the doorway, preparing once again. I assured myself that most people don’t show their best form when heading TO the dungeon, but buckle down once inside. Myself was content for now, since, y’know. No one DIED yet.
We mauled through trolls, corpses of trolls, and minions of trolls, all the way around that circle, taking out these big-bad-tolls that were holding up some magicked wall of sparkles. It was fairly straight forward, with only a couple of times where the hunters would get a little excited and charge ahead without the rest of us, sometimes passing paths we needed to follow. Easy mistakes. I asked, and was told that most everyone had been through the place before except The Shammy and Lil Hunter. Lil Hunter was showing quite a bit of … uh… newness… so rather than explode, I asked just how new. Brand new. First time adventurer and all that. Okay, deep breaths. Fight the angryface, fiiiiight it. A few more questions, trying not to get frustrated myself, and not frustrate THEM (no one likes a chatty git in the back who ‘isn’t doing anything’ aka shooting stuff). Turns out that these three are mates, are looking over each others’ shoulders (that would be in the same room – remember, portals, I know things). So I suggest that Big Hunter may start giving pointers to Lil Hunter in order to make this a bit smoother. Not even a grunt of assent. They charge into a small crowd of dragonkin, and, trusting my instincts, I hesitate to toss any heals just yet.
Good thing, too, because the first thing Lil Hunter does is shoot the dragon that is ice-trapped, sic the pet on it, cast multishot on the group behind it, and then, pulls back on that bow string, and releases a volley into the whole mass.
“Big Hunter, you may want to suggest things like not drawing aggro on the whole crowd-” there’s a death cry, the sound of a hunter hitting pavement, and then standing to shoot again as The Shamman is now fighting for his life against the whole herd. “…and then feigning death.”
“He taught me to do that lol,” says Lil Hunter. Big Hunter did not even pretend innocence.
Of course the situation was not rectified. Just to prove I was being hysterical, Big Hunter started using volley as well. I said nothing more as we squeaked through killing the dragonkin, wiping on the trash before the prophet (there was some fun had when Lil Hunter realized no one was going to rez him, because he was the only one that didn’t do the ghost run, so had to do the ghost run alone), killing the prophet and miraculously downing Eranikus.
It was an amazing blend of panic and healing past being OOM (<3 for Devour Magic). But after the big dragon fell, the rogue that had been with me called it quits. She dropped group and hearthed, and the trio from guild Fail started hopping around over each other, asking what should be done next.
“Hanna” they say. Don’t ever call me Hanna. Or Hannah. ‘Hanners’ if you must, but nothing else. “Hanna, you gtg?”
“No, I should be good for a bit longer.” I am both generous and desperate.
There was more hopping around, and then they ran forward and I thought perhaps they had come up with a plan. I begin to follow, until I note their trajectory.
You know that big hole in the middle of the Temple, down into the murky pool beneath? You know how that water is shallow? Yeah, that hole ate all three of my team mates. Slurp, glump, gulp.
Thud, thud, thud.
“Okay, now I can go,” I say, my hands already sparkling green from the hearthstone.
All told, I received a good upgrade from my Robes of Doan, and a full level of experience. And an epic story to share.
Totally worth it.
August 4th, 2008
Awesomest story ever.
I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that my ST PUGs went horrifically similar. That place is cursed, I tell you.
I’ve never had someone suggest that a Hunter pet tank, though. To be honest, I’d probably have /roflgroupquit long before giving it a chance. Amusing.
August 4th, 2008
@Rick O
Like I said, desperate! But I had heard of it being done before, and my own hunter has shown how versatile the class can be. After this run, I think I’d be even more willing to go for it again.
I mean, how many ‘real’ tanks could keep up with multi-shot/volley while a scorpid poisons the CC target? I’d say the pet-tank did really well!
August 4th, 2008
Wow. just WOW!
Though I admit my first group in the Sunken Temple did hte same thing, we didn’t know better, and as a Levitating priest, I followed them down…safely… Until the monsters noticed me.
August 4th, 2008
I love finding people that play like the trio above…inviting one of them along on a run with the Ego Crew once and then never again.
August 4th, 2008
I had a poor experience healing a PuG in ST way back in the day when I was leveling my priest. I agree with Rick O, the place is cursed. The group was a priest, warlock, 2 shamans (one a level 60), and a warrior tank. We had cleared everything but Eranikus even though all that the 60 shaman was doing was encroaching on my territory and healing. This was back before they nerfed all the pre BC instances so ST was still somewhat difficult. Before our attempt, we told the 60 shaman that we needed her to do damage during this fight.
We start the pull and I see a constant stream of lightning bolts traveling between the shaman and the boss. After we all wipe, the shaman informs us that she can’t do damage because the boss is immune to lightning bolts. I explain that shamans have these other spells that are not lightning bolts and tell her to use those next time. We start the next attempt and once again, all I see are lightning bolts coming from this shaman. I buried my face in my hands and hearthed after the second ankh was used.
I always love to PuG because then you get to see how terrible some people can be and the stories are always amazing. I prefer that they end with the group succeeding but I still use this story when I talk about how dumb some people can be so I guess it was worth it.
August 4th, 2008
@Kanandi
Oh no! So they were probably still alive by the time you made the hop, and then dead a second later. My hesitation saved me! (Well, that, and knowing about the shallow water.)
@Kwane
Do you keep a list? I gave up trying to keep a list… there are a LOT of people. WTB Pack Space for [Epic List].
@Wernstrom
I’m considering this story a success, even if there were some astounding situations involved. Definitely a victory for anyone trying to sell the idea of a pet tank. And to think, they’re supposed to be even better at tanking in the expansion! (What expansion? I know things!)
August 4th, 2008
I love PuGs … like a box of chocolates …
Rick,
I’ve found that the lower level instances are very tolerant of group make up. Not sure about ST though, I’m trying that for the first time this week. Also, I do have a level 24 hunter alt. I’ve run RFC, WC and SFK. I’ve yet to group with a tank that my pet didn’t outclass in at least one of health or armor. Plus if a pet is tanking that’s two people who can heal it. A player tank does bring a bunch of additional capabilities to the table, but if the pet is tanking that’s another DPS you can bring in.
August 4th, 2008
@Morane
You know, I didn’t even think about the fact that there would be two healers on the pet. I guess that’s another clue that things went a lot better than they could have, by the fact that I wasn’t constantly watching for that HoT from the owner. Good call.
August 4th, 2008
Though on the subject of grouping with people who are simply have no idea about what all those buttons do:
I grouped, for Assault on Fenris Isle, with a level 18ish warlock last week whose tactics were:-
1) Run up to the MOB(s)
2) Start hitting it with a stick
3) Hope the VW killed it(them)
4) Run from the graveyard as necessary.
I was playing a shadow priest alt and with Big Blue tanking and me healing him it went surprisingly well – once I adjusted my play style to cope. Though by the time we were finished I was astounded that the player had even managed to pick up the VW in the first place.
What had me laughing the hardest was after we were done he asked me to come help him with Arugal Must Die. I suggested he gain a few more levels and politely excused myself.
August 4th, 2008
All this said, there is much to be said for being an Army of One.
August 4th, 2008
@Khol
I refuse to even respec. I am terribad at trying to dps as a priest, and I keep forgetting what spells I have available to inflict pain. Thusly, I am pretty bad at even solo questing. Pugging is my only hope!
C’mere so I can mind-control YOU into being a meat shield, Mr Army of One…
August 4th, 2008
That exact place has entered our guild’s lore as well. It was an ‘Officer Run,’ which was usually a fun run with my Brigadier and Lieutenant where we could relax, unwind, explore, and kill things safely beneath our level. One of our Corporals who claimed to know the Temple well finagled his way onto the ticket, and off we went.
We did well enough under his guidance, only got turned around a couple times, but after killing Eriakanus, he made a beeline for that hole.
Now, the first time we’d passed by it, I stopped at the edge and had myself a good look down. So when he ran back to it, I had a bad feeling. That feeling only became worse when he outlined his master plan. My Officers, knowing about as much as I did of the place (read: none) shrugged and agreed.
Over jumped the Brigadier, then the Lieutenant. Then our Corporal went running for it, shrieking out, “SHIELD ME!” as he jumped. I obliged, and my last sight of him as he disappeared down the hole was the safe, warm glow of my PW:S enveloping him.
Being the healer that I am, my eyes instinctively darted to the left of the screen. The Brigadier and the Lieutenant… ghosts.
A moment later, so was the Corporal.
August 5th, 2008
@Apoptygmaa
See? There ARE good points to the healer Tunnel Vision!
Too bad we can’t reach them to rez from up there… that place respawns fast, so ghost runs can be a pain.
August 5th, 2008
“Okay, now I can go”
I couldn’t stop laughing….
August 5th, 2008
@Hanna
A proper army of one has all one needs to progress, regardless of the status of an individual component of said army. When one component is unable to progress, another very likely will find more luck.
>.>
There’s a reason I have three, soon four, mains…
August 6th, 2008
I am going to be giggling for a good couple of hours thanks to the imagery of the poor scorpid all by his lonesome against that vicious troll. Pinch. Take that! Ha! Pinch. Pinch. Have at you! Pinch. Pinch.
LOL!!!
August 6th, 2008
I guess it must be that same old story…you always find exactly what you aren’t looking for. My current toy is a lvl 51 Protection Warrior (Yes, I’m leveling as Prot, no, I don’t hate myself), and every I PuG I do, I find-
The Shadow Priest that REFUSES to heal at all.
The Retribution/Protection Paladin that refuses to heal, and sometimes demands to tank, even when their gear is lesser than my own.
The Feral/Balance Druid who (you guessed it) refuses to heal.
The Enhancement Shaman who refuses to heal, and later refuses to drop totems entirely because I get out of range of the first ones they drop (no, really) while I am chasing down mobs. No Elementals yet, but Enhancement is considered the better leveling spec until Outlands, so I’m sure I’ll encounter them, too.
Additionally, I find a bevy of Rogues, Hunters, Mages, Warlocks, and, of course, other Warriors, some of whom happen to be Protection, as well.
Who do I never find? A friggin healer. I’m not picky, I’ll take someone…ANYONE…willing to heal, if they have healing spells they can throw on me. What’s more, as a “former” healer myself, I’m nearly psychotic with obsession over not letting my healer get so much as a scratch from angry mobs.
I’m not judgmental, either. Healing isn’t for everyone, and you don’t HAVE to heal to play a class that has the ability, but then again, why refuse to use a set of your class’ abilities?
Yet, no healers.
It makes me a sad panda.
As for pet tanks in dungeons, a long time ago, as my Shaman was leveling up, I got invited to a ZF pug. I was the 5th person. I was lvl 45, there was a lvl 45 Priest, a lvl 42 Hunter, a lvl 40 Paladin, and a lvl 40 Rogue. Obviously, I was a tad confused. I asked, “Who’s tanking?”. I was booted from the group when I objected to the Hunter pet being the tank.
Its 1 thing when the Hunter well outlevels the dungeon. I’ve had successful runs in Mana Tombs (regular, of course) with a lvl 70 Hunter pet as the tank. At or below the level, and I’m just going to say no. Having a Hunter pet tanking is the first sign a PuG is starting poorly, to me.
August 7th, 2008
Due to the time that my wife and I play, we only ever PUG. But we’ve build quite a large friend list that way…so I guess we can’t truly call it pugging anymore.
But with regards to hunter pet tanks, I have to disagree. Yeah, they suck compared to a player tank, but if everyone runs and respects Omen, they work surprisingly well (I know that can be a lot to ask, though).
By far the most fun we ever had was a 4-man group in BRD. We had two level 56 hunters, a level 56 smite priest, and a level 52 shadow priest. One hunter’s turtle tanked and the other hunter brought an owl. The hunter with the owl was awesome at trapping and jump-shot kiting. He would do BRK proud.
All told, we had CC out the whazoo. We had 2x ice traps, a hunter kiting one mob, the shadow priest mind controlling one to tank another, while the turtle tanked the remainder. Kill order we clear and all mobs were marked. We pulled groups a safe distance back so we could fear when things got hairy. It was a sight to behold.
Did we die when we pulled too many? Sure…once or twice. Did it take a long time? You betcha. But we were laughing and joking in chat the whole time. It was a blast. Bosses would have been impossible without Omen, though.
Really the only problem I have with PUGs is that you rarely get a group of people who a) know how to play their class well enough to pull stuff like that off and b) trust that everyone else in the group does too.
The worst PUGs we’ve ever been in have had the “perfect” composition of tank, healer, DPS, and CC…but we had one or more players that seemed to have never played with others before.
In fact, I’d say my experience has been the opposite. If someone knows enough to even suggest that their pet can tank, I take it as the first sign that things could be interesting (in a good way). If an Omen check shows the hunter running Omen, I’ll start talking to them about how to split up the healing duties so neither of us pull aggro (which is easier with a pet tank). If they are still with me at that point, I’m excited…we might just pull this off. And it is that challenge that makes WoW fun for me.
August 7th, 2008
I lost count a long time ago of the number of times I joined a PUG group hoping to just relax and tank where someone needed me to tank but as soon as we zone in, group lead is swiftly passed to me. I guess it makes sense for the puller to mark, but seriously – sometimes we just don’t feel like it.
August 7th, 2008
Last week, on an alt, I ran Slave Pens with a 67 mage – who couldn’t get to the instance after a wipe until I taught him how to swim down. I’m guessing there were a lot of skipped quests in those 67 levels
August 8th, 2008
Turns out that the warnings above were perfectly timed for me – I ran ST last night for the first time ever (woohoo!) and I begin to understand the mutterings about the place being cursed. But funny with it.
PuGging, and previously I’ve always had reasonably successful PuGs, lucky me. I’m tasked with healing, but as I’m levelling I’m 41 points in shadow so I warn everyone that I’ll be a bit “lumpy” with my heals and that I’ll have a drink problem.
Early signs are not great. Moonkin druid stands around wobbling much of the time so I was wondering if he had IC problems. The pally has a terrific penchant for breaking my shackles. “I’m shackling that Undead Atal CorpseEater, okay? Don’t hit it”… “Don’t hit it”… “OK, you hit it.” Pally also has a liking for trying to run away if he thinks he’s in trouble, straight out of my healing range, and usually round a corner or two as well. Ah well, it keeps things “interesting”. Pally is L45 so he’s quite squishy for ST.
Attempt 1, lead by a hunter group leader who was so rude that it actually became entertaining, ended in hilarity when he insisted that we jump down from the balcony into the room full of dragonkin. A perfectly good tactic, as it turned out (eventually) – but not if you don’t brief everyone properly before charging off issuing insults over your shoulder. The pally in particular was very unhappy to jump down. Needless to say confused pally then AoEd wildly and the Druid ran around screaming so we pulled, ooh, about ten thousand pretty green dragonkin. Wipe. The kind of wipe where you want there to be a “stop the pain and go straight to graveyard” button.
On our way back the wobbling Druid announced that he was only 10 years old. More giggling at my end.
Inevitably our beloved rude group leader quit in a huff and we shed the shammy, we reassemble with a mage (Frost Nova hurrah, but he’s fire spec, hey ho) and a rogue to tank (hmmm) and we do much better this time – albeit without the entertaining group leader abuse – except that the evening is marching on and the rogue is getting more and more… rogueish as he gets more impatient. Priest and mage completely OOM and sitting on the level below just starting to drink? What better time to rush off and aggro a room full of undead? That didn’t cause a wipe only because by the time I actually got there two of our melee were already down, mage still had no mana so I just backed away, whistling, hands in pockets and don’t-mind-me-please mobs – when the dust settled I rezzed everyone and chuckled a bit more. In hindsight I could have just stayed drinking and sauntered up to rez at my leisure.
We managed a half-hour spell without any more craziness but the rogue was getting more and more impatient, culminating in a headlong charge at the Shade of Eranikus… out of range of healing… I stop drinking and charge after him shouting “Stop! OOM! MB!” but his health bar is already dropping like a stone and the rest of the group are charging in throwing spells so we can’t even let the rogue die. Aaaaaargh. I throw a couple of heals, then pull aggro (the joy of emergency healing in shadow), he comes back after fade, kersplat.
So there we are. Two for two runs ending in hilarious and entirely avoidable wipes in the ST. Four hours of fun. I nearly bust a gut laughing.
Guess what? The pally made my friends list. He was great company throughout the whole thing, the chatter more than made up for the pain. There’s just no point getting cross, it’s all about the journey, not the destination… as Kung Fu Panda would say.
August 11th, 2008
Just to add some more. (I’m really getting a kick out of this post and the responses, good job!)
I’ve actually been running ST ad nauseum over the weekend (which means 3 or 4 times). I think its the individual class quests that bring the horrible players out. Either that, or the fact that the shiny loot they got from SM and RFD is starting to lose its luster, since ZF has crap for loot (A staff with no stats and a stun proc? Really?), and Mara is perhaps the single longest and most painful 5 man in the game (hence, I love it, but that makes me a lonely boy).
Being the tank in those runs, I actually found it something of a relief from Mara and ZF. Relatively few mobs were knocking me down, hexing me, rooting me, snaring me, or stunning me, which makes my life much less frustrating. However, I had some hiccups. Players who would come in, play for 15 minutes, and then drop from the group because they were “tired”. A Hunter who refused to turn off aspect of the pack, and promptly got booted. A Fury Warrior who went AFK for much of the run (mildly irritating), returned to complain about how slow we were going (more irritating), and then proceeded to pull extra mobs while we were still finishing a pull, so that the run would “go faster” (which wiped us, and I decided that that was a good time to leave).
Granted, I was far from flawless. On my first run through (I haven’t been in ST in a looooong time) I forgot that many of the mobs in the Prophet’s vicinity throw fears. A very good Feral Druid got feared into the rest of the room. Wipeage ensued. I also forgot WHY exactly one saved Shade of Eranikus til the end. So we slipped off into his room with about 50% percent of the dragonkin and whelplings still standing in the central area. Imagine my surprise when Eranikus puts me to sleep, and then, almost on cue, 30 or so mobs round the corner to destroy my party.
So I’m bidding ST adieu to try my hand at tanking BRD and the like on the longest and most painful portion of the journey to Outlands (tremendous difficulty finding groups, crappy quest rewards, and long quest chains). Fortunately, I’ve been lvling largely by instancing and the odd mobs I kill while farming mats, so I still have plenty of quests to tide me over, if I feel the urge to level quickly. Plus, I’ve never respecced at all, so that will still be cheap if I decide to go that route for a few levels.
I certainly look forward to Hannelore’s continuing experiences as a pug healer.
August 12th, 2008
As a postscript on ST (and with apologies for my earlier overlong post) my most recent ST PuG had an even “better” ending. Our tank lost connection while we were running up to Eranikus and didn’t reappear. We had no joy trying to find a replacement and were getting desperate until rather wonderfully a L70 fully purpled prot warrior from my guild, one of the honcho guild officers, agreed to come and tank him for us – after suitable grovelling. Said tank appears to mass cheering, of course we splatter Eranikus, high fives all round.
Great, we said, let’s do the Hakkar egg thing, if you don’t mind? Sure, says nice Mr Tank. Whereupon… … everyone wiped on the trash. Except, of course, for Mr Tank. Who stood alone and doomed, trading blows with a gazillion respawning mobs, while his enormous health bar decreased sooooo slowly.
The mobs in the big circle room had respawned so the rezzers couldn’t get back. Mr Tank may still be there for all I know, swinging away. I shudder to think what his repair bill was. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve been Gkicked when I next log on.
August 12th, 2008
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