I have a few rules when I join up with a pug.  Sometimes I announce these rules at the outset, just to let them know what to expect from me.  After the third member confesses that they are just learning how to do what it is they do, for whatever reason, I make it known that after dying three times, I will evacuate.

 

Some may find that too harsh.  Others may wonder why I would let the pain last that long.

 

Either way, it’s good to have rules.  It helps you get over a rocky start that may otherwise have you fleeing at the first “lol”, and it keeps you from swearing off ever healing a shaman ever again due to that four hour Maraudon run (Landslide can go throw himself off a cliff next time, plx.)

 

I decided to see if anyone else had this mindset, going into a pug, so I asked around a bit.  I found a bear in Nighthaven, that druid hotspot of dreary purple and green, while I was escaping the terrors of the Timbermaw.  They never did forgive me for my first attempt to get through that tunnel of theirs.  (I have to be friendly with you to get through your tunnel?  You attacked me first, you thong-wearing savages!  Bear whale-tail earns you all the face-melting in the world.)

 

This bear-druid was apparently locked in some sort of Emerald Ennui, so I chose him as a prime target for the interview.  After all, I can spot pug-distress from a mile away. 

 

Hanners: So, tell me about your experience with pick up groups.

 

Bear: I haven’t done a lot.  Always wanted to tank, though, so I’ve done a couple leading people through dungeons on my way up.

 

Hanners: You would not consider yourself a serial pugger?

 

Bear: Um, no.  Haven’t had time to do dungeons, really.  I’ve been leveling up as fast as I can.  I hope to grow up to be a tree.

 

Hanners: Admirable (stupid druids). 

 

Bear: What?

 

Hanners: Nothing.  What have you learned from your limited experiences?

 

Bear: Tanking is fun!  I set the pace, I protect the healer, and if I’m doing my stuff right, then the dps can be as retarded as they want and can’t screw it up.

 

Hanners: I want your children.

 

Bear: Wait, what?

 

Hanners: Nothing, that’s very commendable.  Where did you learn about being a good tank?

 

Bear:  Reading websites, mostly.  This is my first time trying it, myself, but I’ve watched a lot of other people do it.  Some do it right, and I want to be like that, and some do it wrong, and it makes me cry.

 

Hanners: I’m writing an article about rules people have for their pug.  Do you have any rules?

 

Bear: Well I try to avoid stupid people…

 

Hanners: And how is that working for you?

 

Bear: I…don’t do a lot of pugs.

 

Hanners: Touché.  Any other stipulations you may place on a group?

 

Bear: I don’t like hoppy-rogues.

 

Hanners: Rouges.

 

Bear: What?

 

Hanners: Nothing.  No hopping, check.  What about your healers?

 

Bear: Oh, I hate grouping with healers that are ‘just learning’.  It almost always means that they get lazy when the first part of the dungeon is easy, so they’ll start throwing in a wand attack, or a dot or two, and then by the middle of the thing, they are barely using heal spells at all.

 

Hanners: I can imagine how it winds up at the end…

 

Bear: Yeah.  They start wondering why things are suddenly harder, how the rogue kept dying, and why I’m going a lot slower and healing myself between pulls.  Or they get agro and get upset about the dirtnap.

 

Hanners: We do tend to get cranky about those.

 

Bear: Well yeah, anybody does, but c’mon.  Two big heals right after you’ve mind-blasted a monster I’m not hitting?  Totally deserved it.

 

Hanners: Totally.  So tell me about a recent experience.  You look a bit upset.

 

Bear: I don’t know…

 

Hanners: You can tell us.

 

Bear: Wait, what?

 

Hanners: Me, you can tell me.  Was it pretty bad?

 

Bear: Well yeah.  We never even made it to the dungeon.  See, I was looking to get into an instance I hadn’t tried before.  So I was offering to tank, or damage, or heal – basically whatever any group needed.  It took a lot longer than I expected to find anyone, so I started asking locally.  When someone suddenly invited me to join them, I was obviously excited about it.  But then I look at my teammates, and they’re both flagged for pvp.

 

Hanners: Well, a lot of places have pvp objectives for the zone, these days.  Were they in a battleground?

 

Bear: No no, you’re right.  It just struck me as a bad sign.  And the leader of the group was a hunter.

 

Hanners: Eww…

 

Bear: And she wasn’t just flagged, but she had res sickness.

 

Hanners: Eww!

 

Bear: And she asked me what my spec was.

 

Hanners: Wait, weren’t you –

 

Bear: Yeah, I was offering to tank.  I don’t know of any tree-tanks, but maybe she thought I was going to boomkin it.  Anyway, I told her I was feral, and reminded her I could tank.  The shaman in the group said he was melee, but could off-heal.  The hunter laughed out loud and said she would be damage.

 

Hanners: As opposed to…?

 

Bear: No no, I asked that same thing.  She laughed again.

 

Hanners: Wait wait, did it sound like “HARR HARR.”

 

Bear: What?

 

Hanners: Nothing.  Carry on.

 

Bear: So that was a little scary, but I had quests to do, so I just kept plugging along.  Then I noticed we weren’t looking for a group, so I asked a few questions.  Are we still looking for more?  Are we going to the right dungeon?  Why aren’t we looking for a group?  Turns out, the hunter had never looked for a group before, and thought she was doing it right.  Laughed at me a few more times and joked on me for not noticing that she was doing it.  The shaman took leadership for a second, slipped us into the right channel, and handed leadership back to her.  She laughed again.

 

Hanners: I shall call her Giggles.

 

Bear: Wait, what?

 

Hanners: Nothing.  You say you never made it to the dungeon.  Why not?

 

Bear: Well, the next thing I hear, is that she can’t get into the dungeon because the door is locked.

 

Hanners: Where were you trying to go?

 

Bear: Hellfire Citadel Ramparts.

 

Hanners: Wait – there’s no door there, is there?

 

Bear: No.  She was trying to get into the Shattered Halls part.

 

Hanners: Without a full group?

 

Bear: Yeah.  I was in the marsh, and the shaman was in Honor Hold.

 

Hanners: Why was she –

 

Bear: *makes the ursine equivalent of a shrug*

 

Hanners: So that’s when you left?

 

Bear: Well, actually, I kinda was a smartass about it.  I wished them both well, and suggested they ask other people if they had any questions or confusions and wanted to learn how to play.

 

Hanners: Uh oh.

 

Bear: The hunter sent me a note asking what that was all about, but I didn’t have the heart to break it down for her.  I mean, I know how hunters are.  You don’t have to deal with other people your whole life – just you and nature and some freakish animal following you around.  Then, suddenly, you want to make friends and you have no idea what to do.  That’s fine, us druids can totally sympathize.  But then the shaman sent a note and I felt I owed an explanation.  Told him that I could get gear and experience faster off on my own doing quests, instead of doing the ghost-run of shame with someone who wasn’t used to other people being involved.

 

Hanners: Did he turn into Mr Champion?

 

Bear: Oh you bet he did.  Started telling me about how it’d be easy to show her how to teach her real quick, and that I shouldn’t think I was so better than other people.  I tried to explain, but he was already fired up.  Tried telling me to go back where I came from, and that she may have to learn some technicalities, but I had to learn ‘people skills’.  At that point, I remembered my guild tag and felt guilty for stirring up this guy’s ant pile, so I just told him the conversation was over.  He agreed…

 

Hanners: There’s more to it than that, isn’t there?

 

Bear: But he started in on me again a minute later, telling me that he’d passed on my comments to her, and that they both agreed I should just stay in my tree and try my hand at something other than adventuring.  Words like “elitist retard” were thrown at me, and that’s when my feelings were hurt and I told him he was being insulting.  I …I admit, I ignored him after that.

 

Hanners: I see that really bothered you.  I sense you felt you did the right thing, though?

 

Bear: Yeah.  I mean, can you imagine me leading some bouncy night elf hunter like that through Ramparts?

 

Hanners: Wait, what?

 

Bear: Oh well.  Thanks for talking to me about this.  You’re real nice for a blood elf.  Normally I’d shred you guys on sight, but I’ll think twice about it after this.

 

Hanners: …what?

This entry was posted on Monday, September 15th, 2008 and is filed under Healers, Tanks, ~ Hannelore. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.