Sorry I’m late, but there was some argument about how this was - (hey this collar is a bit much, don’t you think?) - going to be handled.  Quane is with me to uh…ow! Assist with this one. Please ignore the leash, it’s nothing.

Alright, so it has been called to my attention that I may have acquired a bit of a reputation as coming off somewhat…harsh. Urk! Demanding. Gack! Intolerant. …Especially towards the lesser classes. *strangling sounds* Ouch!

I mean other classes.

In this vein, I would like to turn to a more positive note. There are so many times I’ve spoken about what NOT to do, and what I HATE for people to do, it’s about time that we focus on what you SHOULD do. Pugging rarely focuses on what you should do. After all, if you’re the dork telling everyone how to play their class, you’re as big a problem as anyone else in the group. Even if someone needs to be told, you don’t need to tell them. A pug is not the place for that!

But a guild? A guild is where everything needs to be set down before hand. And it can be set down before hand. Has to be, or some retarded hunter will-

Wait no, I’m sorry. Let me rephrase.

A guild gives you the wonderful opportunity to set down a series of guidelines by which everyone can work in harmony, and come together as a cohesive unit. Fluffy bunnies and happy puppies. It also means you can make rules before you have a group, and expect people to abide by them, and boot them if they don’t! None of this pansy stuff about “Well you didn’t know,” or “I guess we should have gone over this at the beginning of the instance” (but you know if you did, you’d be accused of telling people how to play, so you never do).

Nevermind that. Here, I’ll spell out my rules for a perfect guild.

1) Main assist: this is your happy friend who will be pointing at the bad thing you are to be mean to. All you have to do is look at them, and then look at what they’re looking at, and you will know which of the monsters said nasty things about your mom, so you can tell them “That language is inappropriate!”. With fire.

2) Your A Game: being in a guild means never having to hear someone say “Sorry, I just bought this character and am still learning HAW HAW HAW.” Everyone knows what they’re doing and how to do it best. Gems, potions, elixirs, oils, foods, ponytails - whatever it takes to be a Non Liability. No playing cards while killing Baron Rivendare, or shooting your bow with your feet when that old guy comes storming into the room screaming “School is in session!” or something. Time to show off, and be awesomesauce. I would feel utter glee in booting someone who decided to “Hey watch this!” and killed me. Glee.

Wait wait, gotta be positive.

a) Knowing the Fight :okay okay, more positive. I would be absolutely delighted to show you what to do, and how to deal with that OMGPANIC moment when you walk into the alley way and the gate comes down behind you and suddenly you’re swarmed with rats or bugs or whatever they are. But you don’t have time to listen to me ramble! I’m doing you a service by pointing you towards some very knowledgeable people who have written succinct and entertaining summaries of what to expect in your adventures. I am your friend! Happy thoughts! Read. Don’t die.

* Bosskillers World of Warcraft Bosses, Guides, Movie Reviews and Guild Kills

* WoWWiki - Your guide to the World of Warcraft

3)Arguments/Disagreements with how things are done: I would love to say DO NOT QUESTION ME, but I’ve been told to be nice. So, feel free to question me. After the fight. Or way way before. Alright, alright, you can question me during, but I’ll tell you to wait until after, or something. Or tell you to put it on the forums so everyone can have a say. Mostly it’s to get you to leave me alone, but think positive! It’s so everyone can see your genius! And they don’t die while trying to tell you to be quiet. Bonus!

4) The meaning of casual: I don’t WANT to meet Illidan. I have enough problems putting up with 4 other people at one time to be bothered with - urk! I mean, you know. I want to keep my friends intimate and close, so that means I have to be more choosey about who I allow into my inner circle. You understand. Too many people, and the relationships become weak and tenuous, and it becomes more obvious that I’m just using you to get a prettier dress - gahk!! Stop poking me! I’m being positive!

a)Your time?. I have better things to do than wait for people. I hate looking for a group, that’s why you make a guild, right? So you don’t have to hunt around for that last person, or wait for them to finish a quest, or something. A guild is a happy fun shiney place where people go “Hey, I want to smoosh some dragonkin in the top of Blackrock!” and everyone else goes “Yay, meet you at eight!” And they do. And dragonkin get smooshed. And everyone gets attuned to Blackwing Lair and then wonders how to not die against the big rampaging guy when the mages keep sheeping the wrong things and fireballing the ones chasing the tanks and -gahk! I mean, success comes to those that put the guild as a priority. What you do with the rest of your time is up to you. Just come ready.

5) Raid roster: back to the whole thing of not having uh…the proper personality for a huge group of friends. A tight group of people means there’s not going to be a whole lot of options for switching in new folk or replacing people that decide to go pet puppies instead of smoosh dragons. So, the previous rules get multiplied by a bajillion points of importance.

6) Raids: Can I PLEASE get out of BRD? Please? I mean, seriously. At this point, you’d think people would learn how to - urk!! STOP THAT. Ahem. I’d like to progress, and that means surrounding myself with people that also want to progress, and not just collect new outfits from the battlegrounds, or something. Focus focus focus! Think of the rainbows and sunshine we can make, if we all work together as a team. Yay!

And that would be my ideal guild. The end.

Now can you PLEASE get this thing off my neck, you cantankerous warlock?

THANK you.

Final rule.  Don’t be a twat.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 7th, 2008 and is filed under General Info, Soapbox, ~ Hannelore. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.