The Egotistical Priest
An irreverent and opinionated discussion of the many classes
in the World of Warcraft gaming universe.
Where Hanners Snaps
by Hannelore
I have a confession.I, Hannelore, was wrong.
I had high expectations. Perhaps I expected too much.
We’d been through a lot, together. We’ve seen the Earth Princess, then jumped down a thousand feet to battle her pet alligator for shoes. We went on to battle Liches, from Razorfen to Scholomance. From Un’Goro Crater to Winterfall, from Tranquillen to Booty Bay, we have adventured and fought and clawed our way, at last, to Northrend.
And then you went and lost your damn mind.
Hunters. Seriously. Dubya-tee-effffuh. I stomp my foot at you in frustration. Stomp stomp! Both feet! Stuh-stomp!
/break for mana crystal
Right. Wooof. Yes. Alright, everyone else, this is for you too. I don’t want you to feel left out.
Quick note about working with other people.
Just because you survived, does not mean “it’s fine”. What is it with everyone suddenly getting attached to this phrase? It’s not fine! It’s not! Stop thinking it is! Your healer is not throwing a hissy fit just because they’re having to heal! I like healing. Healing is fun. If I tell you to stop doing something, and even go out of my way to try and explain why? Do not laugh at me!
The tank was doing great. Even the overzealous fury warrior was doing alright. The boomkin beside me was rocking the starfire and wrath and pewpew and whatever it is owlbeardeers do. The only one left was you, Mr Hunter.
I have felt guilty about my hunter hate in the past. I have tried to reconcile our differences. I shoot people in the back of the heads to make them feel better. You shoot them in the face to make them feel nothing. We’re still shooting people, this should be a common interest! “I like shooting people.” “Hey me too!” “I baked cookies!” “I love cookies!” And then there is smooching or something, I dunno.
But you! YOU. Grrr! You are like the poster-child for the people that Thrall sent north just to get you out of the genepool. “Maybe if they become a zombie, they won’t breed…” I’m sure there was an entire, late night meeting about this. “We need strong warriors to go north and fight the Lich King!” “Hm, we could also do with a few less nubtards, Thrall.” “Good point, send them along too.” And then they ate lizards or whatever it is orcs snack on while discussing such deep concepts. Grody.
I guess what I’m saying is – how have you survived?! How did you survive puberty? Grade school? Birth?
Nnngh!
/break for mana crystal
Alright… Alright… Um. Oh, right. It’s not so bad. The rest of the little group was fine. Maybe they were a little soft-hearted, but people always seem to have a bleeding heart for those ‘special children’. The sin’dorei hide them in the back room and allow them to be productive members of society by making … things. I don’t know. What is this, an ash tray? Flower pot? Both? Stupid children…
So after I told you for the third time that volley was a bad idea when we were having trouble keeping agro on one person, and we wiped twice due to the complete chaos of all those monsters running everywhere – I let you die. No one else died. No one else got under 50% health or something. Do you know what you did? Volley. Before the tank even got there. And you kept doing the volley thing. Pewpewpewpew! Your dying words were “Anyone have a damage chart? Bleurrrgh!” I don’t know how to spell that last part. Use your imagination. Orcs die funny.
The fury warrior felt bad for you, said it was her fault, even gave you money for your repair bill after I resurrected your hoary corpse! Grrr. And then you did it again! Volley! Then when the arrows stopped falling … you must have noticed there were still badguys moving around, so – Volley!
What is wrong with your head thing!?
/break for mana crystal
I um…can quit any time I want to…shut up. Shut UP.
Why am I in northrend with people that act like they are new to carrying weapons? How desperate is Thrall?
…Or does he just secretly hate me…
I bet it’s that Jaina wench. I’ve said some unfriendly things about her, and there are rumors that she and Thrall… Hm.
Oh, you people are still here. Well then. Have you noticed anyone apparently losing their mind on the Zeppelin ride north? LOOKY LOOKY I HAVE A BOW!! LAWL.
/break for mana crystal
These little Blizzard bears are sooooooo soft…yes you are. You’re a soft little bear. Soft – little – zzzz….
November 24th, 2008
You have made my day.
November 24th, 2008
What do you mean “Where” Hanners Snaps? You could just leave out the first word and title every single post “Hanners Snaps” and save yourself some time.
November 24th, 2008
“…monsters running everywhere – I let you die.”
You are learning, Grasshopper!
November 24th, 2008
Somehow I always knew Hanners was a chain-mana-crystaler. Well, that or a chain smoker. For some reason it’s not at all hard to imagine her following her four idiots of the moment sucking down butt after butt, sometimes two at once, depending on how many nubtards she’s recruited this week. It’s almost enough to tempt me to roll a nubtard (of any class, really) on her server just to torment her.
November 24th, 2008
I thought after Kil’jaeden was defeated at the Sunwell, the Naaru reconstructed it and the Sin’dorei/Quel’dorei lost their mana addiction (and thus, mana tap).
November 24th, 2008
I giggled a little. I, thankfully, have not unlearned what I have learned as a healer…control your threat! I have a hunter I play on occasion, and though lately I haven’t come near the damage I have been used to, I don’t pull off the tank, and I don’t use volley unless the mage is already using their aoe
As for the mana crystals….have you tried that pungent seal whey? They purposely left some chunks of, well,I’m not sure what, but it’s like gum in a, well, fishy way….
November 24th, 2008
LOL, that is hilarious.
@Shatter
Hey just because you no longer need it to live doesn’t mean you don’t need it =)
November 24th, 2008
@Hannelore – Obviously your walking around with a sign saying “Huntard’s wanted for instance” because thats what you keep getting ..
Having played a healer through more Kara than I care for the one thing I appreciate is someone taking their time to peal the mob off me. I really don’t like cheap suits and especially the mob themed ones.
TBH your problem wasn’t that you or the hunter but the tank. Really the tank runs the group and you live or die by your tank. If he can’t generate enough group wide agro they had better well be informing people – Please follow the kill order, since it cost me a fortune to repair on a wipe. Usually it only takes me healing through the 2nd idiot wipe for me to bug the tank enough so they speak up, and if they don’t it’s not to long after that the group gets “Im sorry but this just isn’t working out” speach and I run.
So don’t blame the hunter, well if they FD just as the mob gets to them so that it comes after you .. well then blame them .. loud and long ..
Alas I don’t see you getting over your complete hate for them until you find one that follows these simple rules.
1. Don’t waste your intimidate – ever -
2. Start with focus fire and then expand to AOE
3. Don’t stand next to the healer – it freaks them out when mobs run at you and they are there.
4. Your pet is expendable, if a mob heads for the healer sick your pet on it and use intimidate (this does not count as waste).
5. If you hit #4 then be prepared to die, hit the mob as hard as you can to pull agro. Hopefully between you and your pet that bought enough time for the tank to catch up.
BTW install a good dps meter, just don’t admit to having one .. ever .. But it’s a sure fire indication of a hunters quality if they actually can keep up with the mage’s and locks (who are doing aoe) while they are doing focus fire. There’s many a hunter out there right now who went from BM to MM or Surv because it’s “cooler and blizz says they balanced the dps out”. Just wait for a fight where it’s all about focus fire, in a straight up fight it’s anyones game. If they lag significantly then you have the tard variety and your better off dumping them.
November 24th, 2008
I play a hunter. And …I’ve seen stupid hunters. Not many, but the ones who do stupid things as such what you listed kinda makes me feel a little sad inside (gadammit QUIT USING MUTLISHOT AND VOLLEY IN INSTANCES!!)
Although while reading that, I sort-of agree that the tank (whoever the tank was) should have forseen the dummy with his antics and tried a bit harder…(but you can’t fix stupid when it’s already in motion, so that’s m00t).
–
ATTENTION ALL HUNTERS, manage your damn pets and aggro so less stories of this happen on a regular basis for priests!
In my games, since I’m range, I have no business being in the line of attack, so I usually stick by the casters and priests. If priest gets under fire, don’t be so quick to FEIGN DEATH your own cowardly self, sic the pet on the offending monster to get them off of the healer!
Oh yeah….one thing Weta forget to mention…hunters….when you’re in an instance with a group and you do not intend to wipe…QUIT HAVING YOUR PETS ON AGGRESSIVE, YOU NINNIES. Seen this happen with plenty other hunters, I survived, most didn’t. Pretty depressing.
But then again, I luv muh kitty. He hurts things teh fastest.
November 24th, 2008
I’ve read your blog for a while, but this post inspired me to finally comment. My two mains are holy priest and BM hunter. Lordy, how I wish all hunters were required to play a healing class before being able to enter an instance. Things would go much more smoothly! Like you, I tire of explaining threat mechanics to them, only to see them ignore everything I’ve said on the next pull.
I will say that I’m beginning to see the same behavior with Death Knights on my server. No regard for threat…always asking for damage meter reports. Could it be that all the DKs I’ve encountered so far are Hunters in disguise?
Keep up the great work with this blog. I love reading it!
November 24th, 2008
@Taiga – I had the tank laughing at me because my pet looks like a yo yo on multiple mob fights. I had to remind him that I have my pet on passive because I have pulled 1/2 an instance before when it isn’t. That had the entire group laughing because they have all seen that or done it.
@Panqui – I would hazard a guess that the same thing that draws a certain crowd to rogues and hunters also draws them to DK’s. Unfortunately that means
1. I can vanish so who cares about agro.
2. I can FD so who cares about agro
3. Im in plate so who cares about agro.
Hopefully all the rogue -> hunter -> dk figure things out quick enough, as a healer I’ve always said I won’t willingly let someone die unless they are in plate. It’s just to expensive to be stupid in plate
November 24th, 2008
I lol’ed and lol’ed and lol’ed again…. I love huntards… they provide so much entertainment
November 24th, 2008
Geart post! One of the most original and funny I have read in a long time,and I spend all day at work reading WOW Blogs, LOL, (I love my job)!
November 24th, 2008
Any hunter who can’t figure out the threat mini-game deserves to be splatted.
@Weta Misdirect, Misdirect, Misdirect
I make it a point to always have my tank as Focus target and macro Misdirect to Focus/Pet depending on who’s alive. If I look like I’m riding the aggro wave too high, I either pull back (i.e. no Steady Shots/Serpent Sting) or pop MD. We hunters have built in tools to manage threat, FFS we should be using them
November 24th, 2008
*Great* – I can spell, trust me. Hey maybe I should roll a hunter?
November 24th, 2008
Yes, I have seen this happen myself. Ever since volley was changed hunters gleefully use it without even first waiting for the tank to build up sufficent aggro. Though to be fair, its not just hunters, I have found mages and locks who happily blast away. This change towards apparent lack of thought or willingness to run an instance with any type of planning safety stems from the patch coming in TBC and making the old instances/raids a slaughter fest. I was in an instance the other day with a mage that decided it would be fun to POM Pyroblast pull. I gave her 2 chances, then I let her die. Now as the healer I WANT everyone to live. Yes I let her die, but her idiocy could lead to others deaths. Needless deaths at that. Most healers take it personally when that happens. Heck most tanks take it personally when others in thier group die. I give ppl in my group 2 chances to overcome what is an apparent outbreak of dumbass disease. If they do not learn after the second time they pull aggro and almost die, then I let them start dieing, its their repair bill not mine.
November 24th, 2008
@ Shatter – untrue. I’ve seen Kil’jaeden die, and all that happens is the blood elves just coming running in with this crazed look in their eyes and start mainlining the mana. It’s pretty wacked…I just ran out as fast as I could. Crazy elves..
@ Hannalore – I still think you did the right (and only) thing. Warn them, let them die. Especially if he is starting out AE before the tank got there. el oh el
Mana is not to be wasted on the unworthy!
November 24th, 2008
@Hildi:
http://www.wowwiki.com/Sunwell
“It appears the Sunwell’s powers were depleted after Anveena sacrificed herself to prevent Kil’jaeden from entering Azeroth. However, Velen appears shortly thereafter and uses the naaru M’uru’s “spark” to reignite the Sunwell, explaining:
“In time, the light and hope within will rebirth more than this mere fount of power. Mayhap, they will rebirth the soul of a nation.”
This strongly indicates that the Sunwell has indeed been restored using M’uru’s energies, returning the blood elves’ “fount of power.” The Sunwell’s new energies are possibly derived from M’uru’s powers of the Light rather than arcane magic. “
November 24th, 2008
I know that hunter. I’ve met him and even spent a week with him in mechanar one evening. Same type of run, complete with pain, anguish, blood from the eyes, blood from the ears, you get the picture.
Finally, the run ends and the group ports away. Just before we drop group I hear him state that he’s off to the Dire Maul arena to farm an orb or something. Dire Maul Arena? Yes? The place that auto makes you go pvp with a sword? The place where you can attack people of your own faction? Yes, Yes, yes!!!!
As a druid I have the ability to stealth. He never saw it comming.
November 24th, 2008
I’ll have what she’s having.
November 24th, 2008
I’m with Solaril in that the lolPatch has hurt discipline quite a bit. Even amongst good players – and they (/cough /cough) know it. A common refrain: “That was the worst pull ever – but we did it [lol]“.
Can’t say too much about the tards, I don’t generally PUG, and when I do I cheat by going in with my favorite tank. One thing though, related to the first point about discipline, is that one or two “distracted” players can turn what should be easy into a bit of a wipefest (for me thats 2-4) when coupled with one or two inexperienced players (be it a touch of newbishness and/or simply first time to a particular instance). These situations are self-correcting mostly, so still can’t help you with the tards.
I always let the errant DPS die (sometimes I mess-up if they usually are great DPS – and by great I mean more than chart topping) until they atone or apologize or in some way acknowledge that it is they who are getting it wrong. Then I go into the “healing zone” where nobody dies – kinda – I have learned to prefer letting others die instead of me, you want self-sacrafice, you should have brought a pally (who appreciates their role as martyr)!
November 24th, 2008
Oh, if I was on your twitter list: [ret pally] “I never get how easy you have it Iratio – until you die – and I have to stand around doing nothing.”
November 24th, 2008
I likes them mana crystals. They makes me nose tingly.
Course, I ain’t got a mana bar, so me mileage mebbe varies.
November 24th, 2008
[...] btw – I’m not the only one to notice this recently. [...]
November 25th, 2008
Please don’t lump us all in with huntards like that. Some of us take pride in being able to manage our threat and our pets. We get just as frustrated as you do when it comes to huntards because then OUR reputation gets sullied like that.
November 25th, 2008
@ Hannelore – In the immortal words of Captain James T. Kirk (Star Trek VI) “Let them die!”
@ Cyanea – You should get all the good hunters and start a union. We have a ton of hunters in our guild and only two are great, a couple are mediocre at best, and the rest…well, I’ve always wanted to ask them how the windows at the back of the bus taste…
November 25th, 2008
I have a hunter and except for one memorable time in SM, have never gained aggro in an instance run. I keep my pet focused on the target and focus fire on it. There’s a fine line between doing your part for the group, and pulling aggro from the tank.
I like the runs to be as strategic as possible, and that all goes out the window when mobs are running around chasing those squishy clothies. Omen is a great tool to help everyone keep track of the hate. Sure, everything goes FUBAR sometimes. It just happens. But if every pull turns into a heal fest or worse, a rez fest, something’s wrong.
Everyone makes mistakes, that’s to be expected, but the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. Everyone should learn from their mistakes. And if some appear to be unable to grasp this idea, a nice ghost run might bump their learning curve. Volley used at the onset of an attack is absolute insanity. Volley used at the onset of an attack in an instance is a bootable offense, especially if the offending person was warned and did it again.
I’m leveling a Rogue now, so no AOE problems. I can and do gain aggro, but only on one mob at a time.
November 25th, 2008
I’m just impressed she found a PuG that didn’t include 2 or more really bad DKs…
November 26th, 2008
I agree with shadowblade, My main is a Bm hunter and I do things smart if I can, I can’t count the number of pulls I’ve spent kiting the mob that somebody aoe’d and broke the trap on, but I do it cause they tend to munch the healer otherwise. If we wipe in one of my groups it usually goes something like this, Tank cause the healer went oom, Melee dps cause their squishyish, then me pulling every thing onto me and telling the healer to run like the dickens… saved myself a lot of corpse runs thatway..
November 28th, 2008
Loved your article.
I didn’t read all the comments but the few I’ve read say all. I play a hunter (and I’m levelling a priest and a resto druid cause I want to heal…) but I never use volley unless in paladin’s consecration (yes we have pallytanks, it rocks). Any other use of this is damn stupid. Who cares about damagemeter when everyone is dead.
As a hunter, I have many roles in dungeons : I sometimes trap, I put some debuffs on the mobs and few buffs for the party, but my main role is to protect the healer. I don’t wan’t my healer to be attack while incanting “the” big heal that will save the tank’s neck, and then the rest of the party. I would pet-aggro or aggro myself any mob running for my healer, even if I die doing it. Most of the time, the tank sees she lost a mob and come and grab it before I’m too dead…
And my healer loves me : she even battlerezes me… Bless her !
And when not asked for trapping any special mob, I use to put my frost trap at the healer’s feet. Any stupid mob running for the healer would “plop” into an icecube for 20 seconds… Let’s leave it have some cooling thinking time to realize it wasn’t a good idea to attack my healer… Cause I will burn it down asap.
And, if you ever have any stupid dpser like this once again, install Recount and display the deaths instead of the dps… Or CCbreaking… Maybe they could have a little use of what makes their brains with those.
And thanks for your blog !
Nef
December 1st, 2008
Poor Hanna.
I am of the opinion that either that hunter got spoiled to death by a pally tank, or he/she is still high on the “OMG I can AOE just liek a mage” feeling that we’re getting now that Volley isn’t on a big stupid cooldown. And I apologize for that. Myself, I forget that Volley doesn’t have a cooldown, having played for years the other way. So generally I don’t use it unless something reminds me.. or I’m in Hyjal. Which isn’t often (and the Hyjal part probably won’t happen again for a very long time). What can ya do? /shrug
December 3rd, 2008
The worst part about stupid DPSers is that if you have a GOOD tank, they never notice what agro even is:(
December 4th, 2008
I truly feel for you. Though I haven’t progressed above 62 with my main, I have seen already that the majority of the huntards don’t know how to play in an instance. Their mere presence disrupts the group.
On the other hand, there are gems in all classes. And douchebags.
Go have your pick.
Copra
December 8th, 2008
*peers*
He vollied /before/ the tank got there? Snu?
There is nothing wrong with AoE if you know what you’re doing – but I suppose the same thing can be said with any power tool. And this guy’s the kind of guy that would lose a hand to a table saw.
Kudos for you in letting him die.
I just like the adage:
“A good hunter uses no group resources.” You shouldn’t have to heal him, you shouldn’t have to protect him, and he should be doin’ his darndest to make sure you stay alive, not the other way around.
Grump. Stupid hunter. Gives the rest of us a bad name.