So someone mentioned that I haven’t done a ‘helpful’ post in a while. My snark even made international news on some sort of interview. All I can say is that you should see my deadjournal page. I make Vonya famous. I have entire categories and tags dedicated to her.

“Vonya holy”
“Vonya healbot”
“Vonya CoH”
“Vonya Ambassador”
“Vonya achievements”
“Vonya STEAL MY SPEC AND THEN BE ALL GOOD AT IT”

That last one is new. What’s worse than someone who is so easymode that they’re considered a faceroller? Someone who doesn’t even have to touch their keyboard. What is up with that? I can’t do that! And now she’s discipline specced, so I can’t even just claim that holy priests have it easy. Obviously there is some racism involved. Maybe it’s the horns or the tail or something. I don’t have the details. All I can picture is her sort of buffing her nails while Sartharion goes all berserk on a bunch of Alliance kids, and when she glances up, they are magically healed and shielded and EVERYTHING IS FINE.

/mana crystal

So today’s lesson, kids, is more about how to deal with pick up groups. There’s been a lot of talk about what to do while in a group, and all the different personalities you’re going to find there. But there’s another level to dealing with some of these people; one that can save you a lot of time and mana crystals.

There are two names for this phenomenon: Non-starter and deal-breaker.

In a group of friends or allies or people who knew your mother, there is some obligation to be polite and perhaps congenial, and even to do well. You don’t want to be over there using mind-vision on the tank instead of healing him, if he’s going to turn around and go “WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHER SAY?!”

Because you can’t mind-control your friends off of Utgarde Pinnacle.

However, if they don’t know dear old mum, and they’re not in your guild, and you probably won’t ever see them again – they’re probably thinking the same thing about you. They’re very aware that they may never see you again. And even if they do, they’re counting on you having as short a memory as they do, as opposed to keeping a list of names of stupid people and occasionally having your troll friend help you design voodoo dolls of them to help hold your needle collection. These are the people that are perfectly willing to do poorly, sleep-walk around, or yank loot away from you even if you’d look MUCH better in that dress than that orc rogue ever will.

Sometimes you discover these people halfway through, and you’re stuck with them, and it sucks, and you just grind another level of your teeth away, maybe sending hate bombs with your eyes.

Sometimes, though, they give themselves away before anything happens, and you’re spared some tooth enamel and don’t have to burst a vein trying to stare hate into them. These are the deal-breakers, or non-starters.

Non-starters are actually slightly different, and pretty rare. They are the ones that out themselves before you’ve put any effort at all into the group. Maybe you haven’t even met up, yet. You’re all discussing it over the LFG and getting ready to head to the dungeon when the warrior says his friends are laughing at him for tanking as a fury two-hander guy. Spare yourself and go pick flowers for a while instead. Or maybe the deathknight does something typically doucheknight-ey. I don’t know. There’s too much to even bother with examples. Maybe the rogue can’t stop talking, keeps talking, talks so much you wonder what he’s up to, and then suddenly you hear him laughing in that way that sounds like ‘lololol’ and he announces “I died from falling off a cliff.” Because he was talking too much.

You’ll know a non-starter when you hear it. If your stomach clenches up, and that voice in your head squeaks out “Maybe it won’t be as bad as it sounds” – flee. There are a lot of things to do, not much time to do them, and you have better ways of wasting the next hour and a half. Go buy a little companion pet, maybe some toys or a bath for it, and run around Dalaran trying to find books that are so magically delicious that people somehow EAT THEM after reading. That will waste time and the money you would have used on repair bills, and you’ll actually have a silly grin on your face. As opposed to the psychotic one.

Deal breakers are: finding out the tank has less health than YOU. Helping the warlock do that demon-candy summoning thing, wondering why it looks different, only to have a giant armored demon with a huge axe suddenly appear. You know, the one that will be fighting the tank for agro for the next hour. Or maybe the hunter doesn’t have a pet, and you try to remind him a few times, only to have him finally turn to you and go “Pets are bad luck. Nothing but trouble.” And he has a completely straight face, and then goes back to shooting things. But you notice his gear and talents are designed to benefit from a critter beside him, and his damage is poo poo instead of pew pew. You could decide to tell him this, but I promise his response will be something like “Yeah I just respecced” or “My little brother did that.” He will not alter a thing.

Why do people do these things?

All together now…

Because they’re fine in BRD.

Lunar Festival is at the end of this month. I am happy. Do you know WHY?
Because it means I have an excuse to go hide in the far corners of the world.

I need to update my deadjournal background and theme. I found some other blood elf copying my style. I’ll have to write about that, too.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 12th, 2009 and is filed under Healers, ~ Hannelore. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.