The Egotistical Priest

An irreverent and opinionated discussion of the many classes
in the World of Warcraft gaming universe.

Hannelore reviews some PuG basics

by Hannelore
author is Hannelore

/mana crystal

Alright alright, let’s settle down here.

A lot of people are getting all excited about some kind of upcoming changes, and space goat is somehow making the effluvium hit the sprinklers (what?) with her backwards glances on how well things have gone so far. And then there’s little old me, coughing and wheezing as I come straggling out of Utgarde Keep, barely alive and with nothing but the experience (and some cash) to carry out with me.

I believe it may be time to remind people of some things that they may be taking for granted, or just plain forgetting. The following are all things that I wished I had time to properly explain while in pugs over the past week. They are things you should know by now, but for some reason, either never learned or figured you knew better.

You do not. I am right. Shut up, sit down, listen.

Pulling:

The tank pulls.
Especially in a pug, where you know at least half the group is phoning it in, you let the tank pull. Even if you have a hunter, who swears he knows how to use misdirect, it’s often not worth it. “Oops, misdirected to healer” is not what I like to hear. With people thinking random AFK’s are a good idea, I’d rather have to wait a few extra seconds for the tank to come back, than to have someone ‘help out’ and pull for the tank, only to find out that HEY. HANNERS IS TANKING LOL. For the doucheknights, please be aware that your yank-and-spank spell, while amusing, does nothing for my nerves. You are going from 0 to Tanking in less than a second, but only on one mob. The others are coming at you only because you just jerked their friend across the room by the face. ANY heal I do to you is going to make them more angry at me, and then what are you going to do? In my experience, you are then going to run around like a moron, wondering why all the monsters just rushed past you.

Sheep Pulls are Stupid.
When did this start becoming common again? I realize that mages might feel they have been left out of the utility fun with the complete lack of CC lately, but come on use some sense. You have the highest intelligence ratings of the group, but you can’t figure out why I throw a hissy fit every time you decide to sheep your target before the tank pulls? It’s because everyone who is not currently chewing grass is now running at you! Again, if I heal you at all, they are instead running at ME. You have iceblock, I have a shield that can take two hits, maybe, then I’m flatlined. If you’re having a problem with your target being in the concecrate or being hit by aoe from the group, then – hey! Not your problem anymore. If you can’t control your target before it gets into range of those things, that indicates something YOU need to fix. Not the tank. And certainly not ME.

Wipe:

In a wipe, EVERYONE RUNS.
Having all three dps suddenly go afk, sometimes they tell me sometimes they don’t, as soon as we hit the floor is one of the most infuriating things. I am running back. Me, the one that was either the first one dead or the one healing my guts out until the last second. The one person in the group guaranteed to have to buff everyone when we get back up. I have to get my mana up, buff, and then get my mana up again. You can not move forward until I do that anyway, so you are not saving yourself any time. In fact, you are wasting more time by forcing me to have enough mana to resurrect you after I run all the way back, because that’s more time I have to spend chugging back that terrible seal blech. If the healer is running back, everyone should run back. And you other people that try to defend this behavior with “It’s ok, I’ll rez” are NOT helping. If everyone pops to life at the beginning of the instance, then they have the entire run back to regen mana and health, so we are nearly good to go by the time we’re back to where we were. If we’re even slightly coordinated, other wonderful things can happen. I can buff while running! Other people can buff while running! Hell, the hunter can even make us RUN FASTER. Look! Synergy or something!

When a wipe is eminent, KEEP FIGHTING.
If you’re the tank, you may have the tricks to pull it off and save it from being a wipe.
If you’re dps, you may be able to take down one or two more baddies before you drop.
If you’re the healer, you and that one random other guy might be able to stand up against the odds.

Feign Death/Vanish/ (and wtf is ‘shadowmeld’?)
Unless you’re the healer, do NOT try to drop agro and hide in order to spare yourself a repair bill or something. You may wind up pulling out of the battle just as the others in your group are pulling out the stops to survive. Now your lazy butt is trying to determine if you need to get back in the fight, or if you just shot everyone’s chances and NOW it’s a wipe. If you have a rez, this is somewhat forgivable, but still looks cowardly. If you don’t have a rez, and you wind up being the lone survivor in a wipe that you may have contributed to by ducking out early, then you are just an ass and I hate you. But to be the type of creature that does that, you probably laugh at my hate – in which case you can also laugh at the other people in my ignore list WHICH YOU JUST JOINED. Roffle, my good sir, roffle.

Summoning Stone:

Go to it.
If there are 4 people in the group, EVERYONE STARTS HEADING TO THE STONE. I cannot stress this enough. Mostly because that vein in my temple is starting to get twitchy. I COULD stress this enough, but something would burst. I have been having a hard time getting groups together, mostly because everyone is looking to get carried through these places, or they’re refusing to tank until they realize the tank they’re stuck with is not as ooberleet (troll for ‘very special’) as they feel they are. Nothing is quite as infuriating as being the last one to a group, dropping whatever quests you were working on and running to the nearest flight master in order to fly across the continent and realize that you’re the first one there. The only other person even on their way is in Zangarmarsh and their hearth to Dalaran is on cooldown so they’re heading to Shattrath to port to Undercity to fly to Howling Fjord. Everyone else is afk, in battlegrounds, or “lol I’m in dalaran and don’t have any fp from here! Lol”. That’s when I flip a coin to decide whether to just suck it up and stick it out – or drop group and do some quests for the dead guys nearby. Maybe hope that I get caught under one of those lurid green vats when their containing glass fractures, my pain may end early.

Also: don’t be the jerkoff that runs into the instance the moment you’ve been summoned. Especially if one of the people that summoned you JUST SAID: “I have to go afk for a sec, summon the others ok?” Because then I AM JUST STANDING THERE NEXT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS GONE COMATOSE WHILE YOU PICK YOUR NOSE IN THE INSTANCE A:LJKS(* @)(@)!*!JF)S.

/mana crystal

Playing in a group:

If you get agro (because you’re stupid and forgot you aren’t the tank) – do not run down the hall trying to give me the ‘hi sign’. You run towards the tank. You always run. Towards. The tank. Remember back in Rage Fire Chasm? When you realized that running from monsters in an instance only means you DIE TIRED? Still applies, bucko!

If you’re the tank (bless your heart) and you have to maneuver away from a badguy that is doing bad things – remember line of sight. Out of line of sight from the badguy = good. Ding sound! Out of line of sight from the healer = bad. Bing bong sound. If there is a circular place, with a bunch of columns, and the badguy does a big effect that you have to move away from – where is the optimal place for the healer to stand? In the center! If I were behind the badguy, I’d be in danger of having you run out of range while I’m getting too close to being up on the badguy. Plus, since it’s a circle, you might go around behind a pole as I’m casting. If I were behind YOU, then I’d be in danger of being underneath the badguy when he does something, because you backed up and lead him right at me. But if I’m in the center, and you’re moving backwards around this circle – not only are you ducking behind columns away from me, but you probably aren’t moving backwards fast enough to dodge his big effects. You are, in short, just screwing with me. I’m looking at you, big bad guy at the top of the Keep. You and your roars. Grr.

Traps are good if you’re protecting the healer. Traps are bad if you just run into a group of badguys and start an exploding trap beneath them before the tank has agro. What the hell, guy?

Declaring, at the beginning of the instance, that you ‘go kinda fast’, does not give you carte blanche (that’s elf for “wtf are you doing”) to ignore my mana pool and the tank’s health. Even if you are the tank (especially if you are the tank). Subsequently asking me “What happened there, lag spike?” when you die is NOT going to make me giggle and ask which inn you’re currently living in.

Any time you find yourself saying “lol that’ll be good for my alts”, pause and see if what you just picked up happened to have bound itself to your soul like a lamprey eel. If you do, in fact, say this out loud but realize you are an idiot, make sure you pick up a rock. Then you can say “My alts love shiny rocks. I was talking about the rock. Why are you looking at me like that?”

If you need something, push the damn need button. If you don’t, but can use the cash, hit the damn greed button. If you’re on top of a giant wall with a lake behind you and an alliance town in a valley in front of you, push the Dam Release button. Oh ho ho ho ho! (Push the damn release button if it’s a wipe, you lazy whacktard.)

Playing in a group is a lot different than roughing it out there on your own. You have to think a little bit about what you’re working with. Don’t rely on the crap you’ve been able to get away with while your guild holds your hand through previous dungeons, or your bestest buddy in the world who is already knocking on Arthas’ door while you’re trying your hand at rescuing Thrall from Durnholde for the first time. This time you’re running with me, and I. Will. Let. Your. Ass. Die.

But I’ll probably feel guilty about it afterwards. Dammit.

/mana crystal

Today’s diatribe is brought to you by the numbers “Dammit someone stole half my guild bank” and the letters “F” and “U“. I’m lucky to have made it through with half a pack of crystals left… Our paladin woke up naked except for her tabard somewhere just outside of Ratchet, and the Mistress is just a wee bit livid. Don’t mention the proto-drake whelp…

40 Responses to “Hannelore reviews some PuG basics”

  1. Holy Dueg Says:

    Excellent post, I’m considering making it a requirement of anyone wanting me to PuG with them name all these rules here. I hate the people who “go kind of fast” then get pissed that you didn’t tell them you were oom when they pulled. I’m sorry that I was busy casting heals, only able to type “I’m o-” before you pulled again. I know, it’s totally my fault that you don’t like to pay attention to anyone other than yourself.

  2. Bavmolo Says:

    Ah Hanners – your rage is like a soothing balm for my Monday.

    Carry on! Don’t let anyone stop you from letting your rage flag fly!

    Nobody’s been able to *prove* all those nasty things about mana crystals, so I’m sure you’ll be fine.

  3. Tish Says:

    Wow, I would hate to be on your server, if this is really a huge issue for you. I PUG ALL the time, and have only had a few bad experiences. Usually a quick “do this instead” is all it takes to fix the issue.

  4. krizzlybear Says:

    Sheep pulls are fine if the tank asks the mage to do it. Mages and Tanks should know how to time their abilities so that the polymorph comes off as soon as the group of mobs start to run towards the tank. Secondly, mages should be standing by the tank, or as close as possible to him/her when sheeping, just in case a mis-sheep causes the group to aggro the mage; it will be easier for the tank to pick up the mobs this way.

  5. PuG Basics: Hannelore-Style « Holy Discipline Says:

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  6. Kestrel Says:

    Hanners is my heroine. (I’m sure she hates hearing THAT from an NElf :p) Amen to all of the above!

  7. Pookie Says:

    *sits down next to Hanners* It’s time we talked *jingles the bag of mana crystals* I brought your favorite *tosses the bag to Hannelore and waits for her breathing to return to something near normal* Better?

    I don’t know how to say this to you Hanne…you need to learn to make friends. *cringes and waits for it* I know as a blood elf priestess this will be hard for you. But surely there are other blood elves at least who are decent in their approach to the world of dungeoncraft that you can a decent group to spend time with? What about those druids you were nearly singing the praises of? *keeps one foot out to the side incase she has to run* All I’m saying is that good solid friends who know what they are doing would spare you these things.

    Perhaps if you didn’t have such problems with these…foolish people you wouldn’t be quit as…needy with the mana crystals?

  8. Siobhann Says:

    OMG! Epic!!! I laughed all the way through. Are we on the same server or something?

    You forgot some, though. The lock who lifetaps either on the pull or when you’re OOM and drinking, the jumping mage spamming arcane blast, the hunter who has his pet growling, the melee who can’t seem to keep from pulling aggro and expect you to heal them instead of the tank, and the death-noob who thinks he can tank and can’t… /mana crystal

  9. Jack Says:

    lol. Awesome rules.

    The characters I play most often are a healer and a tank. The tank, unfortunately, generally semi-PuGs. Usually with the same healer, but with different dps nearly every run.

    From that perspective I would argue that no, sheep pulls are not stupid. Just hard. If the tank and mage can get the coordination down, then sheep pulls are very nice. They are beautiful.

    Test a couple on the first trash pulls, if they don’t go well, then abandon sheep pulling. Continuing to practice a skill you’re just not getting right while the rest of the PuG watches you break cc over and over again? Now that’s stupid.

    If we’re even slightly coordinated, other wonderful things can happen. . . . Look! Synergy or something!
    lol. So true.

    (and wtf is ‘shadowmeld’?)
    Shadowmeld is awesome. It’s like, Fade, for Night Elf resto-druids.

  10. teh Khol Abides Says:

    Hanners’ pain fills my soul with a special kind of joy.

  11. BobTurkey Says:

    Sorry to hear about the hacking. Great post.

  12. Vendric Says:

    Hmmm, I find that for every PUG which is snakebit by ‘whacktards’ there is a handfull more than go just fine. I do know at least one person who has endured each of the vein-twitching situations that Hanners describes. But Hanners seems to be the only single person who has exeperienced them all…..repeatedly.

    Maybe its a pheromone or a psychic impulse that she emitts. It draws them like lumbering zombies. They lumber along with their outstretched arms as they chant “Must Group Up!……Must Invite Priest!!!”

    Hrmph, either way, what Hanners needs to do is to bring some doubleshot espresso drinks with her. They don’t regen mana as well as honeymint tea, but when combined with mana crystals and whacktards they will help you relax…..really they do.

  13. Aelinna Says:

    Sorry to hear about the hack, that sucks mightily.
    I will now be a jerk for your own good. This all applies to PUGs, among friends the rules are different.

    If someone does something stupid, you let them die. If the tank insists on rescuing them, you let him die even if you bite it yourself. If it happens again, leave group. Joining a PUG is a statement you can and will enact your role competently. Competently, you do not have to cover everyone else’s ass too. Those who bely their promise require consequences. You’re doing your server a disservice by not punishing these tards adequately.

    If the DPS don’t run after a pull, polish your nails. Feel everyone start to hate, yet grudgingly respect, your intolerant-of-douchebaggery ass.

    When a wipe is “imminent”, wipe FAST. Maybe you’ll pull it off, or maybe you’ll just waste five minutes of everyone’s time and all your cooldowns.

    Where exactly do you want the tank to stand? Circle bad or circle good?
    Nevermind, in a moving-tank situation the healer should always be 20y from the tank. Beside is ideal, behind is nice but sometimes long frontal AOE means you have to be behind. Yes this means you have to move those pretty little toes of yours you spend so long pampering, get used to casting instants on the hoof.

    Your ‘fast tank’ may be a noob pretending to be a pro, or ze may in fact be a pro and you are not using everything at your command to regen mana. It’s rough in levelling gear but good practice. Remember – flash heals on stupid DPS are expensive. Let them die. Let them learn. Let them feel everyone tapping their foot while you cast that 10s rez.

    Elitist and proud. I should get a bumper sticker that says “I armory before invite”. I have a personal rule that after I die 3 times that weren’t my fault, I consider leaving. It’s really better for everyone to break up a bad group early instead of wasting four hours, see the sunk cost fallacy.

    While I’m at it… Jack, Fade threat returns when the buff disappears. Shadowmeld and the threat is gone forever. It’s much more like Feign Death.

  14. Klinderas Says:

    With the exception of those mana-crystals you’re constantly using…

    Bad habit, by the way. I’m trying to cut back on Arcane magic too: I got the patch.

    In any case, Hanners…

    You must be after me. Now now, don’t be all frowny faced like that, there’s no need. I can understand: I’m handsome, and I’m absolutely fantabulous.

    /flourish

    But you really must stop chasing my heart! It’s really not acceptable, a woman of your station, deliberately trying to seduce me through beautiful words. My partner would end you if she ever found out.

    I appreciate friendship, or studentship, but going after my heart like this is not allowed.

    And cut back on the crystals. They’re really not good for you, and they make your teeth yellow.

  15. Linedan Says:

    This should be required reading in the LFG system. This assumes, of course, that more than 50% of the denizens of the LFG system can actually read.

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  17. Vinblood Says:

    You forget a tank who insisted he/she was defense cap but in fact in all Level 70 gear or Blue while tanking Heroic. Then when they died they blame us for not saving their life. /Mana crystal

  18. Chibikeni Says:

    I’ve seen some situations when the group is greeding an item, someone hits ‘Need’ all the time, saying ‘I want to level my enchanting by DEing’. Understandable if nobody would want the item and could roll/use the shards for their own enchantments, BUT there were people who NEEDED the gear and this son-of-a-kook justs ninjas stuff for the sake of his own profession. Makes you mad doesn’t it?

    For tanks, its best to have some knowledge of the instance of what mobs/bosses does..However, there’s a drawn line when your tank comes into Heroic Occulus (Note ‘Heroic’) and says ‘Wow, first time I’ve been inside here, so what do I do?’. I just get peeved, whispering the healer and others, ‘Ouch Time =(’

    A philosophy I’ve seen on someone’s shirt and I do take importance on that;
    ‘If the Tank dies, blame the Healer.
    If the Healer dies, blame the Tank.
    If the DPS dies, blame themselves.’

  19. Bellwether Says:

    Bravo!

  20. Kudos Says:

    Wow… if you ever get tired of healing, get yourself a set of plate, you’d be a perfect warrior with all your rage :)

    If they don’t want to follow the rules, let them die… I cackle with unrestrained glee at the screams of terror that squishy DPSers make when they get stupid and pull agro from me.

    healers are a different story, they keep my sorry arse alive and I feel compelled to return the favor

  21. Closure Says:

    These rage-spewing posts are an never ending source of entertainment!
    Tank you Hanners for doing all those PUG’s :)

    If only there was a way to get these players to start reading blogs …

    But you have to be nice to them, some of them may actually like to learn and improve.
    Of course if they just ‘lol – I got this’ at your advice, they have to go (or you have to leave them behind). Not you though Hanners, you have to stick around and get more ‘inspiration’ for more posts :)

    Regarding ‘If the tank dies….’ all I can say is; no no no – do not automatically start blaming people! Figure out what went wrong, and make sure it does not happen again.

    The mindless tossing of blame is the thing I personally dislike about this game. If you are elitist, so be it – have fun and go raid, but do not join a PUG and expect the same attitude from your fellow group members.

    You can expect them to pay attention and at least try to make an effort, but you can not expect them to know every little detail about the instance and their class.

  22. Calli Says:

    Not running back after a wipe, my personal pet hate in pugs when I’m on my Druid, Pally or Priest. Public crucifixion is too good for these lazy smacktards.

  23. Jack Says:

    @Aelinna: Yeah, shadowmeld and fade aren’t exactly the same. I can’t cast spells while shadowmelded and DoTs break it. You don’t get to control when you get aggro back. However, I should also get aggro back when I return from a shadowmeld. Unless I stay shadowmelded until everyone else is dead. From the shadowmeld tooltip: Any threat is restored versus enemies still in combat upon cancellation of this effect.

    But it is like Fade.

    And it is awesome.

    That’s wtf shadowmeld is.

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  26. Weta Says:

    Wow, that was quite the rant ..

    If it was just pugs I’d be happy, but my last run just reminded me about how fair life is.

    Heroic UK run so it’s not exactly rocket science.

    Tank – warrior 1st 80 and barely over the def cap (read as squishy tank)
    DPS – fury warrior that just hit 80 (one of our guilds MT/OT)
    DPS – kitty (one our guilds healers)
    DPS – mage well geared from 10 man naxx
    Heals – shammy that just hit 80 (one of our guilds MT/OT)

    Lets just say that 1/2 way through the place the furry warrior was all red and had to repair and we gave up after two tries on the last boss.

    So it’s not just PUGs that are bad, its teaching that fresh new tank how to tank and for them to learn an instance. Me, well I had heals for this and it was just humbling to spend that much time healing the fury warrior. It’s highly possible that he had to repair because I was letting him die for pulling agro on almost every pull but I would never admit that :)

    My rules for PUG be I heals, DPS or tank.

    1. Tank must mark mobs – not only does it ensure people know who to kill it also makes it easier to see a mob break from the pack and head for a squishy.

    2. AOE is a major no no unless it’s specifically called for, there’s a reason the tank picks a kill order.

    3. Focus fire is your friend, the run will go faster if you follow the kill order. Only person taking damage is the tank so the only person getting heals is the tank so your healer spends less time with their face in the tea pot.

    4. Misery loves company, if Im running back as heals then everyone else had better be. The only exception here is the meat shield, anyone who is working that hard and spending that much gold on repairs to keep me alive deserves a break.

    @Hannelore take a breath, walk away from that bag of mana gems lest you invite unwanted attention from DEA or someone :P

  27. sparkinator Says:

    How about the PUGger who leaves when his item doesn’t drop on the first boss. We had a level 74 warrior in DTK yesterday who mentioned he’d run it 8 times and still hadn’t seen the sword drop from boss #1. After it doesn’t drop again, he ‘disconnects’ and never made it back. Saw him in /1 an hour later looking for another group. I’ll bet he’ll DC again whether he gets it or not.

    And who really cares so much about leveling gear anyway?

  28. EVAC Says:

    woaaa, someone has some rules.

    Everyone has things going on, and the more adaptable you are, the better everything is.

    Lets say the DPS goes afk after a wipe, they might be throwing a beer bottle at their whiney wife, or changing their kid’s diaper. You don’t know, but you’ll probably be glad to not hear about it on the news god forbid they’re setting something on fire.

    You also need their favor. When u want to run 10man OS at 3am and they are the only tank u know online they might join ur group cuz you’ll rez them when they die. Scratch their back and they scratch yours… Plz don’t make people run that don’t want to run.

    Yes, I know that these rules apply to pugs and not friends… but every friend you had was at one time a pug, and you can still befriend people.

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  30. Gnomeaggedon Says:

    Note to self.
    1. Make Macro.
    /sheep target
    /iceblock

    2. Stand next to priest.

    3. Sheep Pull

    4. Wait till everyone releases…

    5. Port anywhere

    6. Drop group.

    7. Examine life…

  31. Chris Anthony Says:

    @EVAC, if you have to go AFK, you are responsible for informing the group. It seriously does not take that long to type “Sorry guys, I have to step away for a minute, do you mind rezzing me when you get back?”. If you haven’t been rezzed when you get back, you release and run.

    If you just don’t feel like running, be prepared to have the rest of the group decide to 4-man the rest of the instance or find another DPS who doesn’t take the healer for granted.

    Or, to put it in your terms, “plz don’t make people rez that don’t want to rez.”

  32. Jack Says:

    So does it make me a bad healer if it really doesn’t bother me to rez my party after a wipe?

    I mean, there does seem to be something innately unfair about, “Hey, you keep working on getting the run back up and moving . . . the rest of us are gonna’ kick back for a bit here among the lovely tombstones.” For that reason, when I’m on my tank, I always do release and run. I guess if someone just expects the healer to do all the work, it reflects poorly on them. But it’s not like it’s that much extra effort. If my little bit of extra effort means everyone else can take a break, . . . don’t I get a cookie or something? I like cookies . . . I’d better get a cookie.

    I don’t know . . . maybe it’s just that I’ve never been in a group where the healer was unappreciated. If I were nominated for whipping boy and still expected to do all the work getting the run back on track . . . well, that would torque me off enough to make the group run their own lazy asses back.

  33. Korgan Says:

    That is quite a rant, I can see there is some pent up anger there.

    I agree with most points, especially if its a wipe EVERYONE should run. This does annoy me at times because it is usually the DPS that dies due to a mistake THEY made that refuses to run back.

    The 1 thing that really annoys me that you never mentioned is that people seem to think that it is the healers job to heal everyone between fights. I need to recover mana and health like everyone else, food and drink is available for a reason, use it!

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  36. Omenscourge Says:

    As a DK tank I’ll caveat pulling with death grip. Done properly it is very effective and does not leave the door open to the healers getting aggro on the other mobs.

    Death Grip can be used in conjunction with LOS. Preferably used on a caster mob when not using LOS. And most importantly there should be a pool of death and decay between the pack of mobs and where you will be tanking them. Thus forcing them all to take damage and cement aggro on you as the tank.

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  38. Malevolent Angel Says:

    omg! this post is so true! can’t imagine so many times that my blood ran cold over these trigger happy dps who feel like they’re tanks! and the lazy bums who don’t walk after a wipe, especially tanks!!!

  39. Kearsha Says:

    Ah… the idiocy of PuG groups remains all too commonplace for me to bother anymore. Regardless, still a good post that gave me a few giggles… only because we all know these things are all too true. You have my sympathies for I no longer pug for these reasons. I suppose I’m fortunate enough to have a highly populated friends list and great guildies to fill groups with.

    Grats on the Je’tze’s Bells! I had one drop in H-DTK a few weeks after the expansion released… and a warlock rolled need on it. I about cried. *Sadpriestface.*

    Have a good one.

    -Kearsha of Malfurion
    The sometimes Disc-Healing/Shadow Priest for raiding.

  40. PuG Basics: Hannelore-Style | Anea Says:

    [...] Hannelore has reviewed some PuG basics and everyone should go read them. If for no other reason because they’re funnier than mine. [...]

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