The Egotistical Priest
An irreverent and opinionated discussion of the many classes
in the World of Warcraft gaming universe.
Hannelore will get to Noblegarden when she is ready
by Hannelore
More hard-hitting direct and analytical reviews of heroic versus family-friendly raiding will have to wait until next week.
Today: BUNNY EARS.
I would love to tell you about the fun and frollicky time I have had with Noblegarden so far. The brightly colored eggs, the silly rabbits, the jovial ears that suddenly have every level five mage in the area swoop down on me like I was covered in chocolate…
Uh.
But I cannot tell you about these things. I know nothing about them, and have only heard legends of their happenings. Because, in case you did not know, I am a blood elf. Our nobles are the magisters and mage-priests of the broken sunwell. There shall be NO fun near our walls. However, to keep from looking like oppressive zealots that seek only power and glory and the life-sustaining mana-tap, we still allow the peons and little common-folk to ‘hunt for eggs’. But because our people are accustomed to hardships, allow me to explain to you how we have changed this pretty little adventure into something more comfortable and familiar to the Sin’dorei.
First, we have commanded that whenever an egg is discovered, the finder must stop there. You cannot move. Hold your ground and protect it with the tenacity we have instilled in our soldiers to keep our city safe from the unending scourge. Spit expletives at any other seeker that comes near, or you will be shamed for the rest of the week by the fact that THEY TOOK YOUR EGG. Each person is to find their own spot, their own eggs, and when we teleport more eggs into the area, each person will quickly gather their allotted prizes into whatever receptacle is available. I hear some commoners even shove them into their mouth. Wonderful.
Those seen running around will be called out for ‘ninjaing my eggs’ from those who have properly protected their placements. Shouts should ring out across the area for any that come late to the party and are unaware of the magisters’ law. “Find a spot and camp it, everyone gets more eggs!”
As this may seem to be too easy, we have included instructions and the materials with which to turn commoners into rabbits. These small, brightly colored mammals shall be precisely the same size as eggs. This added level of difficulty proves that the Sin’dorei can best any difficulty, and will inflict challenges on ourselves simply to make it more interesting. This is not a game, this is a test of our commoners’ will and abilities, as the sword is hammered in the fire! Those little people who are in the guise of rabbits are challenged to avoid the grabbyhands of those chocolate-blinded crazies looking for chocolate, and the crazies get to be constantly confused why the eggs they shove into their baskets are soft, furry, and squeak “OMYGODLETMEOUTDON’TEATMEEEEEEE” at them.
Reports are already coming in that there have been some casualties, but that’s to be expected. Better to cull them early than to have them someday wind up in a pick up group with me where I have to do it myself.
Cries ring out across the wall dividing the halves of my great city. “Where are the #%*(@ pants?!” “Selling the dress for rabbit ears!” “OMG u just ninjas my egz!” And “This egg is furry and squeaky.”
“DON’T EAT IT!!”
I like to listen for the scream.
April 27th, 2009
And somewhere in Silvermoon City, during the crossover between Children’s Week and Noblegarden, this event will eventually play itself out:
Matron: Well, children, here we are! Does everyone have your baskets? Good! Now all of these eggs have chocolate in them, but some of them have special surprises!
Orphans: Yayyyyyy!
Matron: All right, off you go!
*the children happily frolic, unaware of the terrible events about to befall them…*
Magistrix Donna: All right, Ancro, explain the situation.
Ancro: Well, it appears that a number of Azeroth’s heroes have been… somewhat more affected by the egg hunting than others.
Donna: Do you mean the Polymorph: Rabbit effect that Dalaran offered to institute this year?
Ancro: Well… yes… about that. I think we’re going to have another Highly Severe Disaster Claims case file on our hands shortly.
*back at the egg hunting grounds*
Level 80 Orc Death Knight: y u stel my egz?
What is actually said: …
Level 1 Blood Elf Child: Ohhhhh! What a cute little chocolate bunny! I could just eat you up.
AND SO SHE DID.
April 27th, 2009
Mmmm…I like to make the fuzzy, hoppy, squeaky eggs into a nice stew. With pepper.
April 27th, 2009
*Ninjas all the eggs* What? I’m sorry, was that yours? *Eats all the chocolate* MUAHAHAHA NO EGZ 4 U!!
April 27th, 2009
And I thought I had people laughing out loud running around in bunny-form with my [Worg Pup] trailing behoind me, screaming that the PUPPY GONNA EAT ME!
This, is even more funny, and sinister.
<3 4 U Hannalore.
April 28th, 2009
Urgh, I’m staying the hell away from any zone involving this mass idiocy. So far the closest I’ve come to this celebration of greed, pointlessness and fluffy rodents has been stepping on an egg crapped out by a bunny in Dalaran. That’s it.
I’m staying in Icecrown till it all goes away. At least zombies don’t yell at you to get the hell away from their eggs or try and put bunny ears on you.
April 28th, 2009
I think that they should have instituted a few anti-camping measures:
1) Require the basket to be equipped to loot eggs.
2) Make the baskets run-speed effect permanent while equipped.
3) Make auto-run permanent while equipped.
Thus, you would have people running around like mad, properly hunting for eggs, and trying to quickly click on eggs in passing.
April 28th, 2009
I can’t wait to see the response of my raid group about a week or so after Noblegarden when I turn them all into bunnehs with all the branches I have
April 28th, 2009
The Kirin Tor folks at Bloodhoof were much nicer when I was there. No complaints in yell about ninjaing at all. Only rotten egg was the guy who swore that the Bloodhoof eggs were for Tauren only and for the rest of us to go back to our own starting zones… How can baby Tauren know the cuteness that is an undead woman in bunny ears if I am quarantined at Brill?
April 28th, 2009
All i can say is…. Bunny ears FTW! That’s def my fav item of the whole event… AND the fact that i can randomly put said Bunny Ears on whoever i want with my flowers….
*Evil grin*
*Turns her entire guild into a bunny parade*
April 28th, 2009
the whole point is running around. if you stand still, you miss the entire meaning of the holiday. unfortunately, whatever moron who designed falcon wing square must have missed his morning mana crystal and made the whole damn place too small. bloodhoof is more spread out, and thus better. the rules: hotkey blink and the basket buff, run like a mad troll, and if someone else is making a b-line toward your intended egg, be a nice troll and break off. move further ahead or turn, but be fair and look for the next egg. not everyone is as leet an egg-hunter as you. if someone is camping an egg spawn, wait 10 seconds and if they don’t take the egg, it is fair game. as we all know “AFK” stands for “not your egg if you don’t loot it.”